Sample of Gettn' Married

Getting married can be the most exciting time in your life. Every since you were a little girl, you played house imagining the kind of man you would marry; how many children you were going to have; and what kind of home you were going to make. I know you remember playing house—going through all the motions of a day in your happily-ever-after-life. Remember how good you felt dressing your baby dolls, cleaning your home, and kissing your pretend—well-paid, handsome husband. Well, I hate to break it to you, but there is a whole lot more to consider in creating this happy home. So, brace yourself. What I am going to share with you will better prepare you to create the home life of your dreams.
Now, I know you’re saying, “that’s old school dreaming, Dr. Nixon.” Okay, let’s make your plan a bit more contemporary. Instead, you a professional woman—attorney, doctor, or business owner. Your professional—make-believe—husband is a strong, well groomed, very handsome, physically fit, child-free, disease-free and equal partner. How’s that? And even if neither of these scenarios fit your dream, you have one. And more than likely that dream is equally as euphoric as the ones that I painted. You know why? Because in the paradigm of marriage, it’s always a very beautiful dream. And honesty, we women are the ones dreaming the dream. Men tend to be very well grounded about what the commitment of marriage is really about. But somehow we women don’t seem to get the reality of marriage. Now understand me, this is not an accident: TV, magazines, movies, romance books, mass media, institutionalized religion all have done an outstanding job of selling us the dream. And because it feels good to our left brains, we buy into it without reading the very, very fine print. So we don’t get the message about what we have to sacrifice to be in that glorious number of the married ones. The most realistic education are the usual disclaimers: “no relationship’s perfect,” or “everybody has problems.” Well, allow me to break both of those ideas down just a bit more. Both statements are true, but if we do just a little more homework, we’ll discover that there is possibly a winning scenario in it for us. But it comes with a price; we may have to walk away from a relationship, or we’ll have to ask some very hard questions of what seemed like a good prospect, who may decide to walk away from us.

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"We tried, but we just couldn't make it"

I believe these are the words from a popular song back in the 70's. I know plenty of couples that could have written that song. Hell, I was a part of a couple that could have written that song. But you know what I discovered as we "tried to make it." I learned that while we were a couple, we were still individuals. And our individualities--personal journeys-- got in our couple way. Yep, at the end of the day "the two" separately has to do the individual work to make the "two" together work. So, if you are in a relationship and "it ain't working" then you might want to take a look at the man/woman in the mirror and ask what might "I do" to make the trying work. Remember those words? "I do." Yeah, but now it means more than it then that beautiful day in June. Today it means "what am I going to do to keep this relationship thriving?" "It means what personal faults am I holding on to that I need to let go of for the sake of my union?" It means "What am I willing to do to improve myself so that my mate can stand living with me until death"' But, I guess this means that you gotta know what is important to you as a couple. These were ours. If you are interested in keeping you family together then you need to figure out what it is that's keeping you apart. Then you've got to have a real conversation about what you both want, and if you both even value your family or each other enough to keep at it. Gotta change those "I do's" because now that you're in it, "I do" has a whole new meaning.
Let me know how it works out.

How's it going

From what I've heard, not too well.
We just can't do what our parents did.
How in the world did they stay together?
I know, I know, but do you suppose
that they valued what they had built
together over what they could achieve
separately. I don't know, but I think
they may have been on to something.
Let me know what you think,

Why Stay Together Anyway?

...Because you decided to; because your parents did; because you have too much to lose; because it's "cheaper to keep her/him"; because of the kids; because you'd feel guilty if you didn't; because you made a vow; promised God; don't want to be alone; need someone to take care of you or to take care of; it's hard out there for a single person; AIDS. . .

I'll stop here... Add to the list. Let's see how may reason/excuses we can come up with. Then we'll have grounds to have a real conversation about what it means to be in a committed (or otherwise) relationship.

Looking forward to hearing your responses.